Beggars Buffet

Today I awoke stretched and strained
a touch more insane
paranoid like who's to blame?
this is the day people's lives change
grab a tray and sit back at the beggars buffet
listen to what these thoughts contain
served on plates
carved from pain
seasoned by depression
doesn't it taste like you expected?
selected from the finest
spiteful delightful psycho writings I recite through the mic with
suffering nothing like it
happiness struggling to find it
whoever bares this likeness
help battle my identity crisis
generated excitement through gang handshakes
but died in private
like these are the people I'm supposed to survive with?
cried in silence
remembering the nights when I'd vomit violently
after catching ex fiancées cheating awkwardly
looking for a higher power to somber me
and still more rage
was all they had to offer me
Sin learn binge purge
get burned in turn
I question why my minds gone away today

As the earth kept spinning
the circumference of my world became more rigid
karma became contingent
raw thoughts became cryptic
allowing me to excuse what being a kid is
the first time I got made fun of for the way I walk
broke the law
hit a bong
got into a brawl
saw a body outlined in chalk
went to a funeral and felt loss
the first time fuck God came from my jaw
and I became lost
realizing I needed to make peace
using writing as a release
making my life what is or isn't
the first time I figured out love wasn't wicked
held hands with a girl 
and started kissing in the park
the first time my dick got hard
virginity gone in the dark
the first time we grew apart
leaving me emotionally scarred
All these realities contributed to my individuality
I began to speak candidly about the world misunderstanding me
don't let the fat of the land engorge you
it's our differences that allow people to explore you
getting torched is a no brainer
the first time I took anger into a battle and ripped an MC
fate tempted me to take a dead mans energy
and put it into what I write
allowing him to finish living his life
the first time me and Augury learned hip hop was our passion
cultivating that talent into a record
feeling the pressure
we learned it was a difficult task
testing our love for rap
Denku came to the studio
and recorded America the beautiful
the first time I felt confidence in myself
Seasons Change hit the shelf 
Rules Off Evolution hit the brain 
we hit the stage
people screaming Wastelands
the first time I felt like a man
the second time I put a ring on my girls hand
our love meant something again
pledged we'd be together forever
the second time she severed our ties
the first time I looked into Destiny's eyes
and got reminded why I'll survive
this is the first time I feel alive

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