Dear journal my outlook has become nocturnal
with nothing to turn to spiritualism is segregated
wondering if the entrance to heaven is gated
or is inner peace exaggerated?
walkin’ with castrated brain matter
calculating deaths data into physical matter
wanting it the moment after
masqueraded declaration of struggle
secreted from amniotic muscle
vaginal walls begin to crumble
giving my eyes something to sun to
words of expression are muffled from artistic hustle
as the power of God comes through
the world just assumes then deducts you
while previous beliefs you’ve run to shun you 
minuscule ridicule is burden of genius
in my dreamin’ I team with demons
to slap the be Jesus out Christ
with the might of mankind
to give him insight on what its like
to live a life inside his light
falling off the pedestal
readies you to be tailored for failure through anger
then turn around and praise her
for favors from the saviors you’ve already alienated
not realizing you’ve cut off your ears to think in silence
close your eyes and see the world the way God designed it 

I’ve blown out the 24th candle on my birthday cake
to calculate the weight of mistakes
made against the world that ain’t
riding the faint taste of fate
as happiness escapes each time my heart palpitates
scowl in amazement at the smiling faces
that strayed from my graces on my training day
applaud change but I’m afraid
I’ve missed my opportunity to gain a leg on the human race
tainted pages paced with patience
parallel with endangered statements
paraded by abrasive language
ending the novel idea/ that I’m a descendant of Pangaea
I see a beacon of glimmer
as holy water simmers in sinners
as scriptured pictures become what my life is framed in
I walk in a misshapen body
oddly enough my tear ducts/ scream I don’t give a fuck
tears of joy deploy for a boy who’s become a man
has yet to understand God’s plan
that was predated when his soul took a vacation in the physical Matrix
and got caged in my hope floats