Born three months premature 
Cerebral palsy, no cure, blood impure 
hated mirrors, afraid of my own glare 
owned the fear, because of that 
I walked with a thousand yard stare 
it’s hard to share the pain 
where to place the blame 
of how you get to a place 
where you hate your own face 
mixed race, disavowed sin 
drowning in my brown and white skin 
settled in mundane phases 
escaped through books 
escaped through paintings 
sculpted anguish from broken language 
hope and hatred roped in habits 
that I wasn’t a real Mexican 
because I didn’t speak Spanish 
tell that to cops, tell that to teachers 
tell that to preachers 
who told me I’d be saved 
if I prayed to a white Jesus 
navigated seasons trying to fit in 
the only respite was with my black friends 
my dark skinned father 
was the pinnacle of cynic 
pushing me to date white women 
because he thought they were rich 
and had a clean image 
for years I couldn’t pin it 
constructs tried to make me 
a slave to oppression and the system 
then I found the rhythm 
they said I’d never walk, I did it 
they said I’d be dead by 25 
I’m alive and living 
they said I’d make nothing of rap, I’m spittin’ 
I did it, I’ve done it all 
Ive broken down the walls 
breathe and pause 
once lost in the jaws of hell 
compelled to expel the generational curse 
and prove my own worth