The Numbers Game

Two alcoholic fathers 
Haven’t spoken to Mom in 5 or 6 years 
should have wrote this off 5 or 6 beers 
the truth is, 
this came after 5 or 6 tears 
rebuilt self 
after struggling with mental health 
finally displayed emotions 
on a level shelf 
selling my mettle for spiritual wealth 
they crucified Jesus 
just so white supremacy 
could wear his skin as pelt 
sin is felt deep within my bones 
trying to hit different astral planes and zone 
so my soul can finally find a home 
with full attention on self reflection 
tried to save a lot women 
but how could I save them 
if I couldn’t save myself? 
in my dreams pacing Orion’s Belt 
let the hollows melt until the pain is felt 
playing the shameless cards I was dealt 

Pain, rage, growth, pain 
Sun after rain, win, lose or draw 
play the numbers game 
play the numbers game

This second verse 
will address the hurt 
and self imposed curse 
placed on my daughter, as your father 
you got my best pieces 
but also my worst demons 
keep breathin’ and play each day 
as new life leases to unlock your secrets 
I’m sorry your transformation 
started in your mother’s imagination 
and my pitiful exaggerations 
our communication became complacent 
your heart became a weight station 
for our mistakes 
that’s the reason it aches 
don’t be afraid to chase happiness 
in the face of depression 
you may never disconnect it 
but never let it 
stop you from breaking tension 
take each lesson as a step 
to your new direction 
remember self reflection 
I’ll always be 
the one you can run to 
no matter what, I will always love you