Soul Circus

Came home with 150 in my pocket 
starting over, heartbroken and jobless 
fighting depression and logic 
surviving in hell’s mosh pit 
clean slate locked in, clock tick tockin 
pain was coming of age 
while my demons played 
in the blood of the slain 
images of failure burned in my brain 
never feeling worthy of praise 
freed from my cage 
smoke and mirrors 
plus liquid courage fueled my rage 
burned both sides of the flame 
fed game because I was told 
the heavens were there to uplift you 
not pin you beneath the surface 
waiting for the real world 
to up the heat on the furnace 
couldn’t find service in churches 
that shit made me nervous 
well wish wishes coming from lurkers 
my souls murdered 
seconds tick as currency 
to pay off the death merchants 
stay behind the turret 
to avoid the slaughter 
failed my label, failed my daughter 
smothered by my father and mother 
I became a ghost in the shell 
in his own personal hell 
inhabited by another person 
a different version 
kissed by bliss and ignorance 
while I’m left alone to lift 
the generational curses 
while I suffer in silence 
and pretend everything is perfect 
amongst the suckers in the soul circus