Came home with 150 in my pocket
starting over, heartbroken and jobless
fighting depression and logic
surviving in hell’s mosh pit
clean slate locked in, clock tick tockin
pain was coming of age
while my demons played
in the blood of the slain
images of failure burned in my brain
never feeling worthy of praise
freed from my cage
smoke and mirrors
plus liquid courage fueled my rage
burned both sides of the flame
fed game because I was told
the heavens were there to uplift you
not pin you beneath the surface
waiting for the real world
to up the heat on the furnace
couldn’t find service in churches
that shit made me nervous
well wish wishes coming from lurkers
my souls murdered
seconds tick as currency
to pay off the death merchants
stay behind the turret
to avoid the slaughter
failed my label, failed my daughter
smothered by my father and mother
I became a ghost in the shell
in his own personal hell
inhabited by another person
a different version
kissed by bliss and ignorance
while I’m left alone to lift
the generational curses
while I suffer in silence
and pretend everything is perfect
amongst the suckers in the soul circus