Born three months premature
Cerebral palsy, no cure, blood impure
hated mirrors, afraid of my own glare
owned the fear, because of that
I walked with a thousand yard stare
it’s hard to share the pain
where to place the blame
of how you get to a place
where you hate your own face
mixed race, disavowed sin
drowning in my brown and white skin
settled in mundane phases
escaped through books
escaped through paintings
sculpted anguish from broken language
hope and hatred roped in habits
that I wasn’t a real Mexican
because I didn’t speak Spanish
tell that to cops, tell that to teachers
tell that to preachers
who told me I’d be saved
if I prayed to a white Jesus
navigated seasons trying to fit in
the only respite was with my black friends
my dark skinned father
was the pinnacle of cynic
pushing me to date white women
because he thought they were rich
and had a clean image
for years I couldn’t pin it
constructs tried to make me
a slave to oppression and the system
then I found the rhythm
they said I’d never walk, I did it
they said I’d be dead by 25
I’m alive and living
they said I’d make nothing of rap, I’m spittin’
I did it, I’ve done it all
Ive broken down the walls
breathe and pause
once lost in the jaws of hell
compelled to expel the generational curse
and prove my own worth